What's my piece of fruit?

This week I taught Jr. High Sunday School because their regular teacher was leading a group on the Walk to Emmaus. I usually help with High School Sunday School, but I haven't actually taught anything yet. My job so far has been to be there to get to know the students and interject anything I feel needs to be said. It's nice because there's no preparation and if Clark is sick and I can't be there I don't have to get a substitute.

Because I don't have to prepare I think I miss out on some of the richness of the lessons. As much as lesson preparation was a burden when I was teaching full-time, now it's actually kind of exciting. I got so much more from the lesson because I had to come up with my own illustrations/examples and be familiar enough with the Scripture to teach on it. Hopefully it connected with the students because I know it impacted me.

The lesson was on wonder. Sounds strange I know. It was on how we should wonder at God because he is awesome. We marvel at his creation and learn something about his attention to details and creativity. We see our own sinfulness and are awestruck that he would give his Son to redeem us when we wanted nothing to do with him. In this life we get small glimpses of the wonder of God, but we can never really comprehend it.

It talked about how so often the things we hear in church and read in the Bible become like "white noise" because we've heard them so many times. We don't wonder at them anymore because they've become mundane. The Scripture we looked at was in Genesis 3 where the serpent tempted Eve and she and Adam ate the forbidden fruit. They had the life. They lived in a perfect garden where they physically walked with God, there was no sin, no one had ever disappointed them or hurt them, they had everything they needed. They traded all that for a piece of fruit. When Satan, through the serpent, tempted them he made God sound like a human being. He took away God's wonder and made it sound like God was holding back something good from them or he was jealous and didn't want them to be like him. He said, "You will not surely die, for God knows that when you eat of it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil." He lied to them and didn't tell them all the consequences of knowing good and evil. Little did they know when they ate that piece of fruit that they would be kicked out of the garden, lose direct fellowship with God, work fruitlessly and their oldest son would even kill their younger son. They traded perfection for a piece of fruit.

Of course the point of the lesson wasn't to point the finger at Adam and Eve and say, "Why did you do that?" because we know that any of us in the same situation probably would have done the same thing. The point of the lesson was to ask ourselves "What is our piece of fruit?" What is that thing or things that we place above God and are satisfied with having instead of all God has offered and promised? I thought of a few things before I taught the lesson, but since then it keeps running though my mind, "There's another piece of fruit." It seems that when I get ready to get rid of all the noise and distractions to spend time with God there's always something that comes up that seems more important. Suddenly playing on the computer, checking my facebook, playing words with friends, vacuuming the floor, washing the dishes in the sink, calling a friend on the phone and so many other stupid little things take presidence over wondering at God and spending time with him. Ironically, when I do manage to say no to all my "pieces of fruit" I am never disappointed. I never come away from a Bible study time and think, "Man that was a waste of time." God never disappoints and he always shows me something I didn't see before or reminds me of something about himself or myself that I had forgotten.

Of course it's a little ironic that I sit here on the computer writing about this when my Bible study for today sits in the living room yet to be done, but I had to write while it was fresh on my mind and convicting my heart. It was a much needed reminder to me to prioritize and not let the "pieces of fruit" in my life get in the way of my wonder of God.

Sweet Clark has returned

The last couple months have been trying in the parenting department. Clark has been ornery, defiant and all around difficult to deal with. I thought (hoped) maybe it was a product of all the craziness of life and moving, but once we were settled it didn't improve. I am thrilled to report he has had two good days in a row. His sweetness has come back and he's been a joy to be around. Of course he still has his moments, but overall it has been a welcome change. We have had fun playing with his toys, wrestling on the floor and playing chase. His cute babbles have returned, the high pitch screaming has become less often and he has started obeying occasionally. I'm praising God for this and hoping it becomes to new normal. Michael says not to count on it, but I'm hopeful.

Every night as a part of our bedtime routine I pray for Clark (since he can't really talk yet) as I'm putting him in bed. I always thank God for Clark and for the good gift he is to our family. I pray God will give us wisdom as parents and help us to raise Clark to love him and that he would show Clark how much we love him and how much he loves him. I'm so thankful for these sweet moments with Clark. I love my boy!

Trying out e-mealz

E-mealz was recommended to me by my sister-in-law and a friend in Jacksonville. It's also endorsed by financial planning guru Dave Ramsey. It's an online meal plan that tells you exactly what to buy, how much it will cost at your selected store and how to prepare the meals. It's supposed to save you time and money because you shop according to the sales at the stores, use all of the ingredients you buy and the grocery list is sorted by the sections of the store so you don't skip anything and have to walk in circles around the store (which I am prone to doing). A few months ago I checked into it, but decided that because of my picky eater it wouldn't work well for us. This week I decided to give it a try. After doing our budget when we moved I realized (again) that food is a category where we could save money with better planning.

Michael looked over the meals and said he could eat all of them (with only a few modifications) so we headed out to Wal-Mart for our first shopping trip using the pre-planned list. Just for the record I hate shopping at Wal-Mart, but it's our cheapest option in VIcksburg. After a long and frustrating trip through the store I was shocked to find I spent more than I EVER have on groceries (ever in my entire life!). I usually spend more at Wal-Mart since I buy things other than groceries that I wouldn't buy at Publix or Kroger, but this was ridiculous!

I haven't made any of the meals yet, but I think I was doing better at budgeting my meals than I thought. Only time will tell, but if my next trip proves to be like this one, I won't be recommending e-mealz. Hopefully next time will be must more cost-effective. I'll report back in a week or two.

The latest from Mississippi

I've been slacking on the blogging. The battery in our computer decided to go kaput so it has to be plugged in all the time. Clark loves to unplug it so we haven't been using it as much as we used to. Most of the time the computer sits on the counter in the kitchen where it's not too comfortable to stand and type. Right now Clark is napping, so between shuffling loads of laundry between the washer, dryer and folding them, I'm going to attempt to write a blog.

Our family room has had a complete makeover in the last week. We've never had two living spaces so we only had furniture for the living room when we moved in. We put the futon from the guest room out in the family room and used one of the chairs from the living room so we'd have something to sit on. We spend most of our time in the family room since all of Clark's toys are in there as well as the TV. When we moved in the kitchen, dining room and family room were all painted a color called "Lemon Meringue." It wasn't a bad color, but it didn't go with any of our furniture. We've been waiting years to paint a room a blueish/greenish/grayish color we've loved for a long time. Because we were renting we never had the ability to change the wall color. Since we didn't like the yellow, we decided it was finally our chance to paint and room "our color" as we've started calling it.

Mom, Alison and Caroline came this week to visit. They came to see us, our new home and mostly to see Clark. While they were here we had the crazy idea of painting. They enthusiastically helped (except Caroline didn't paint, but she did make us chocolate chip cookies to keep us going and get some of her homework done). We painted two nights after Clark went to bed and got all three rooms finished (including taping, first and second coat of paint and pictures put back on the wall in less than 8 hours total). Having extra hands made the job go so much faster. A family in the church who have been a huge help to us in moving in and getting settled were getting new living room furniture and offered us a club chair. When they brought it we realized their couch matched our new paint color so we traded the couch we had (that someone else in the church had generously given us when we didn't have any furniture) for their couch. We had purchased a carpet remnant to go in the room so it'd be more cozy, but when we got it home I hated the color. Once we got the "new" furniture the carpet looked good. So, in a matter of four days our family room has had a complete transformation. I am sitting in the comfy club chair with my feet propped up on the ottoman as I write. I thank God for generous people who have helped make our house feel more like a home.

Since the beginning of July when we started all the moving craziness Clark's behavior has been horrible. He used to be so sweet but he has begun screaming (high pitch, shrill, leave your ears ringing screaming) anytime he doesn't like how something is going. It makes me blood pressure rise immediately. He has become so stubborn and doesn't the opposite of anything I ask him to do. I have tried to be consistent with discipline and have tried everything I know to discourage his bad behavior and encourage good behavior. I wish I could report that we have found the magic trick and he's a perfect little angel. Of course if I said that you'd know I was lying. What I have learned is how much I need grace in my parenting. I don't feel like I have a clue what I'm doing and whatever I instinctively want to do usually doesn't work. I've taught school for 8 years and dealt with lots of badly behaved children, but it's a different story when it's my own child and I have him 24/7. Obviously I've been deceiving myself all this time thinking I had patience. I have learned that I have none. I see my own sinfulness so much more clearly as I try to deal with Clark. I also have a greater appreciation for my Heavenly Father who has patience with me when I continually disobey. He doesn't get mad and yell at me when I do the same things over and over. He never refuses to forgive because he's too frustrated with my behavior. While I wish my efforts in parenting would start having some effect on my child's behavior I am thankful for the way God is teaching me about my own heart and drawing me to himself through my own shortcomings and my child's disobedience.

It sounds like my next load of laundry is done and Clark is awake, so I'll sign off for now. These were just a few random updates from life in Mississippi.

Oh, and I don't think it's quite sunk in with this Florida girl that I am a resident of Mississippi now, but just today we got a Mississippi license plate for one of the cars and I'm getting my driver license switched over today or tomorrow so I guess that will make it more real. So far I like Mississippi and I thank God for the wonderful people we've met. He has provided for us far beyond our expectations!