At the end of March Clark and I took an unplanned trip to Orlando for my sister-in-law Meredith's father's funeral. They were really close, so his passing was a great loss to their family. Because Clark and I had the ability to get in the car and go I felt it was important to be there for such an important event in my sister's life. I am so glad we went. Clark was an amazing trooper in the car and I was blessed to be able to go to the funeral and hear more about a man I knew, but only from several informal group gatherings.
As a parent, things hit me differently than they did before I have children. I used to laugh at my mom for crying over everything, but now I understand. I could chalk it up to pregnancy hormones, but I think it's more a mommy's heart than anything. Anytime I hear about a hurting child, a parent who has lost a child or who is having to watch their child go through something difficult or a child who has overcome amazing odds to come out victorious I end up in a puddle of tears. I always imagine what it would be like if it was Clark.
The reason I mention this is because I also watch parents and study the methods of others trying to gather any helpful information to make me a better parent. At the funeral, Meredith and her two siblings gave the eulogy. It wasn't a typical eulogy, but instead more of a sharing session where they had a chance to share their memories of their father and the impact he had on their lives. The thing I remember most clearly was what Meredith's older sister said. She said that her dad always made it clear he loved them and that he was proud of them. When she graduated from college and got a job as an engineer her father was convinced she could run to company better than anyone there. She knew he was proud of her. Then, when her first child was born she decided to quit her job and stay home to raise him. She thought her father might be disappointed that she was "wasting her talents and schooling" but was surprised when he let her know how proud of her he was in the decision she had made and knew she would be the best parent. She said, "At that point knew without a doubt that he wasn't proud of me for what I could do, he was proud of me for me because I was his daughter. He didn't care what I did, he loved me and was proud of me because of who I was." What a testimony of a wonderful parent! I pray that my children will know that I love them because of who they are, not because of what they do. Don't get me wrong, I'm going to be proud of what they do as well and pray they make good decisions and use the gifts God gives them to advance his kingdom, but my love for them is not conditional on their actions.
Often I have to stop and remind myself to communicate this to Clark. As a stubborn two year old boy he can make me want to pull my hair out some days. After several meltdowns, refusing to cooperate and directly disobeying repeatedly my patience is completely gone. I have learned I have a lot less patience than I thought I had. I taught school for goodness sake, I thought I had patience. Haha! What a joke. I only had them for 7 hours a day and then I sent them home. 24 hours a day, 7 days a week of the same battles over brushing teeth, putting on shoes, taking a nap and sitting in the highchair are a whole different ball game. When the moment of frustration has passed I have to remember to tell Clark I love him no matter what. I'm a lot happier and easier to live with when he's obedient, but I love him no matter what. It's too easy to convey the message of "I love you when you obey, but not when you disobey" without even realizing it. I pray Clark (and Reagan) never doubt my (and Michael's) love for them and that they can see an example of their Heavenly Father's unconditional love though us. My sin gets in the way continually, but I pray if they only remember one thing about their parents it's that they loved them. Thanks Heather for the testimony of your father's love and the lesson it taught me.
Sunday, May 15, 2011
Monday, January 24, 2011
It's a girl!
So, obviously it's been a long time since I posted anything. For a while, Clark was getting his two year molars and decided 45 minutes was the longest he would nap. Since I usually write blog posts while he's napping, I decided to clean house, do laundry, complete my Bible study, etc instead of blogging since I had such a short amount of time. Now that his molars are in (Praise God!) he's gone back to normal naps. Maybe I'll get back to blogging more consistently, but I won't promise.
Our big news this week is we found out we're having a girl!!! We found out five days ago and I still can't contain myself I'm so excited! I truly don't think I thought it was possible it was a girl, so I was trying to get as excited as I could anticipating the news we were having another boy. Now, don't get me wrong, I love boys and I wouldn't trade my boy for anything in the entire world. I know if we had another boy I would have loved him just as much as I love Clark and I couldn't have imagined my life without him. I kept also reminding myself that this is our second child, the same number child as Michael is in his family. Obviously his parents were probably hoping he was a girl since they already had a boy, but my life would be so different if he weren't a part of it. I kept thinking, if this baby is a boy he's going to bless someone else's life the way Michael has blessed mine. So, I was fully prepared to be excited when the ultrasound tech told us we were having a boy. When she said it was a girl I didn't believe her at first. I actually made her go back and double check just to be sure.
Several people have said, "Oh that's perfect you're having a girl, now you can have one of each and don't have to have any more children." It surprised me the first time someone said it. I love children and we would love to have more than two children. I don't see this as completing our family, but instead from this point on I don't care if we have boys or girls. If this baby had been a boy I would have really wanted a girl next time around, but since this one's a girl I don't care in the future.
That was a long explanation, but those were just the crazy things running around in my pregnant brain.
The best news we received at the sonogram is that our little girl is very healthy. The doctor said she rarely has a time when there isn't something on the sonogram they want to go back and check later to make sure there isn't a problem, but she said on ours the tech was able to find everything she was looking for and the baby looks perfectly healthy. Obviously this is a huge answer to prayer for me. Every night when I'm putting Clark to bed we pray for him and for our baby. I always pray that God would knit him/her (now I can pray for her specifically) together perfectly and that her little organs would form in just the right way. Praise God for the work he's been doing in creating our little baby! We are beside ourselves with thankfulness.
Our big news this week is we found out we're having a girl!!! We found out five days ago and I still can't contain myself I'm so excited! I truly don't think I thought it was possible it was a girl, so I was trying to get as excited as I could anticipating the news we were having another boy. Now, don't get me wrong, I love boys and I wouldn't trade my boy for anything in the entire world. I know if we had another boy I would have loved him just as much as I love Clark and I couldn't have imagined my life without him. I kept also reminding myself that this is our second child, the same number child as Michael is in his family. Obviously his parents were probably hoping he was a girl since they already had a boy, but my life would be so different if he weren't a part of it. I kept thinking, if this baby is a boy he's going to bless someone else's life the way Michael has blessed mine. So, I was fully prepared to be excited when the ultrasound tech told us we were having a boy. When she said it was a girl I didn't believe her at first. I actually made her go back and double check just to be sure.
Several people have said, "Oh that's perfect you're having a girl, now you can have one of each and don't have to have any more children." It surprised me the first time someone said it. I love children and we would love to have more than two children. I don't see this as completing our family, but instead from this point on I don't care if we have boys or girls. If this baby had been a boy I would have really wanted a girl next time around, but since this one's a girl I don't care in the future.
That was a long explanation, but those were just the crazy things running around in my pregnant brain.
The best news we received at the sonogram is that our little girl is very healthy. The doctor said she rarely has a time when there isn't something on the sonogram they want to go back and check later to make sure there isn't a problem, but she said on ours the tech was able to find everything she was looking for and the baby looks perfectly healthy. Obviously this is a huge answer to prayer for me. Every night when I'm putting Clark to bed we pray for him and for our baby. I always pray that God would knit him/her (now I can pray for her specifically) together perfectly and that her little organs would form in just the right way. Praise God for the work he's been doing in creating our little baby! We are beside ourselves with thankfulness.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
